Building your Village
Parenting is rewarding - but it's also exhausting. For many parents, the mental load of caring for children, managing a household, and juggling life is often overwhelming. That's where the idea of a parenting "village" comes in; a small network of local families who support one another, share resources, and help lighten eachothers load.
The good news? You don't need a huge community to feel the benefits. Starting with just five local families is enough to create meaningful support, reduce stress, and even add moments of joy to the daily routine.
Step 1: Identify your Village
Start by thinking of families you already know, or meet through school, daycare, playgrounds, or neighborhood groups. The goal is to find a small, reliable circle that shares similar values around parenting, schedules, and boundaries.
- Five families is a manageable number - enough to share responsibilities, but small enough to coordinate easily.
- Focus on quality over quantity: trust, communication, and a shared willingness to help are more important than sheer numbers
Step 2: Set Clear, Reasonable Expectations
Before diving in, agree on what your village will realistically provide. Keep in mind that everyone is busy, so flexibility is key.
Some things families can do for one another:
- Meal Support: Take turns preparing a batch meal for another family, or cook together and share portions. See our recipe section for low cost and effort ideas.
- Coordinate Effort: Combine grocery runs or buy in bulk and split, or coordinate library (
link to library services post here) visits and drop book off dates.
- Activity Swaps: Take turns hosting family playdates where parents can take turns supervising to give the others a bit of free time, or start a board game "train" where families "play and pass" games onto the next family.
- Resource Sharing: Pass on toys, books, clothing, or equipment that children have outgrown. Or consider a text thread aimed at eliminating food waste - communicate what you have in case someone else needs it.
The idea is mutual support and independence from traditional high-cost resources, not obligation of overextension. Each family contributes what they can, within reason. (Link to our "advice for building a village" post here)
Step 3: Establish Communication Channels
Reliable communication keeps the village working smoothly. Consider:
- A private messaging group for quick updates and requests.
- A shared calender for meal swaps, playdates, or volunteer tasks
- Scheduled check-ins (weekly or monthly) to plan and adjust comments - this can be an in person dinner where the kids have their own space and the adults can coordinate the next month and communicate needs and offerings to one another, or it could be something coordinated over zoom. Face to face is best when it can happen.
Step 4: Rotate Responsibilities
To keep things fair and to avoid burnout, rotate tasks regularly. For example:
- Family A cooks for Family B one week, Family B cooks for Family C the next, and so on.
- Childcare or activity hosting can rotate, giving each parent a bit of a break
- Even small gestures like dropping off snacks or picking up supplies can be shared among the group.
Rotating responsibilities ensure that eeryone benefits without feeling like one family is carrying the majority of the load.
Step 5: Celebrate Wins
Small acts of support add up: Celebrate:
- A week where everyone managed to give or receive help
- Creative meal swaps that became a favorite
- Moments of connection with other parents who understand your experience.
A parenting village isn't just about practicality, it's also about bulding community, trust, and shared joy in the journey of raising children.
In closing, parenting doesn't have to be a solo mission - even though you're their primary parent. By intentionally connecting with a few local families, setting clear expectations, and sharing responsbilities, you can create a village that supports, sustains, and uplifts everyone involved.
Whether it's bulk cooking, swapping activities, or simply knowing your team has your back, the benefits ripple far beyond the practical help: your village becomes a source of emotional support, shared wisdom, and community - exactly what it takes to thrive; individually and as a family.